self-improvement – thingspeoplelookup.com

Word nerd alert: Journey is a band, not a quest/mission/odyssey

Today…today was just a bad day at the office. A crappier Monday than usual. So on my calendar this week is one subject that will be the equal of my salty mood.

The overuse of the word “journey.”

I love the English language.

No, I love it. That’s why I seriously don’t love it when a word is appropriated to the point of meaninglessness.

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Though certainly not the only instance, but one of the more recent examples, is use of the word “disrupt” to describe anything that might merely unsettle an industry. In the essential sense of the word, this in and of itself is not necessarily wrong.

But the word to entered into our collective conscious thanks to Harvard business professor Clayton Christensen, who used the word as as a matter of wholesale industry change: what product or service will come along, like cheap steel rebar, to disrupt an industry to the point of changing it completely?

Now Zion Williamson is a disruptive basketball talent. Billie Eillish is a disruptive musical talent. Tesla is a disruptive car. I don’t know, I don’t see Tesla turning the auto industry on its head. It’s merely another category.

We work. We’re not on a quest for fire

Hard work is hard and the change that comes from it is incremental. But it’s not necessarily a journey. Journey implies a terminus. You hit your goal and you’re done.

I don’t think so. Not for any of you.

So cooking journeys and learning journeys and fitness journeys…well, there is no terminus to the fitness “journey” I’m on, I can tell you that.

The great work you do never stops. You cook better, you learn more, you get stronger and healthier – mentally and physically – the harder you try. You just get better and better at what you do and I love you for it.

So my friends, you’re not on a journey. That’s a band. A great band. You just keep being your best you.

You’re welcome.

My foibles as a blogger and human

It’s been a curiously beautiful holiday weekend here in the upper Midwest. The sort of weather, really, that makes you wonder what sort of tragedy is around the corner. It’s sunny today: will there be a tsunami tomorrow? In the upper Midwest? Sure, why not?

But that’s not the only reason I’ve not been as visible as my start. I’ve turned up my anxiety tenfold, all on my own, by announcing to you, my dear readers, that you should be reading all my posts because there will be something interesting in there.

I’m pretty sure there are few things that can stop a writer faster than saying out loud that you’re good. So it’s back to the drawing board for me, talking about nothing, talking about everything.

It’s also a good time to reflect on what’s been great this week, what’s been less than great, and what’s to come this week.

Awesome!

Diet and exercise: I’d posted earlier that based on the intensity of my workouts, I’ve probably been enormous calorie deficit over I don’t even know how many years.

Like so many I’ve body image problems; I didn’t know how to manage the variability with sorting out the right amount to eat. There were tears! So embarrassing.

Because it turns out that eventually, your body will manage this for you. I found myself starving and migrainous toward the end of the week, even with a higher caloric load; I couldn’t help but eat more. With another 600-700 kcals total – that’s a lot! – I found myself dropping weight.

Fitness friends, I’ll keep you posted.

Women’s World Cup: Turns out that the U.S. won. Who would have guessed?

What this brings up is an interesting discussion of how one is paid by an employer: is it based on value to the company as a part of overall revenue, or individual performance?

Outside of sales, the U.S. doesn’t pay people based on individual performance. Or in this case, team performance. The men’s team gets paid more because the men’s world cup generates more revenue. Nevermind that they’ve never made it past, what, the round of 16, if they make it all?

One wonders if after today, a new compensation model for the women’s team won’t become more necessary. I’d like to hear U.S. Soccer tell the world that the crappy men’s team makes more money because the men’s world cup sells more ads.

By the by, I actually have no idea what happens in a soccer game!

Less awesome

Body image: The opposite end of my diet and exercise win. I’ve never felt so much anxiety over what should just be a matter of basic health.

It’s 2019. In era of body positivity my obsession is antiquated, and I hate myself for that, too.

I found myself crying like a baby first with worry, then with self-loathing. I can’t win for losing.

Ruined chicken: Less horrifying than my inexplicable vanity, pride and downfall from it, is my ruined poached chicken, a recipe I can make with my eyes closed.

Actually, the truth is, I feel ashamedly terrible about this, too. the chicken turned out a bit tough and dry, but it’s not inedible; I tend to think of food as fuel, so what do I care? Somehow I do.

Setting myself up to fail: I’m not sure why I felt compelled to let you know that even if I’m talking about boxing, you’ll want to take a look. As though I can come up with some life lesson every time I start typing.

Today is a great example of not even coming close.

Coming up this week

There are a few topics I’d like to discuss. Whether or not there’s a life lesson in any of it, I don’t know.

Overuse of the word “journey”
Women’s sports
How much work at work is too much work
When are you too old to accomplish what you want?
Can I fix my poached chicken?

Until then, I thank you all for reading! Have a great week!

Update: posting as pain relief

Until today, it was the most popular post in my (five-day) blogging career. “Posting as pain relief” resonated with a lot of you, and still grows in readership bit by bit. This was unexpected. It was truthful in a way that I can’t say to anyone live.

But I have some good news.

Yesterday afternoon found me on errands, including stops at shops where I could kit out my new workout space. The shop with the plush rug. The used sports equipment shop for 20-lb. dumbbells. The Salvation Army for some kind of slick plates that would make better gliders than the ones I’ve got.

While in the Salvation Army, I passed by the furniture, giving it a dreamy look. It was in good shape, all of it. Mine is…not so great. Cats with claws will do what they do and there’s not much you can do until they’re gone.

My mind went dark. Shouldn’t I, at an age I’m not telling you but which is old enough I should likely be looking elsewhere at furniture, not look longingly at used stuff?

I felt the familiar feelings of failure. Of pointlessness and worthlessness and the real question of whether my future was worth attempting. Instantly, from the brain stem or the amygdala or wherever that starts, my blood was pumped with it.

But a funny thing happened at Sam’s Club. Just down the road a piece from the Salvation Army, I found a fair parking spot on a busy Saturday. It was sunny and hot, at least for the upper Midwest. I didn’t move for a moment. Full of bad feeling, of sighs, a slow heartbeat, I simply told myself to stop.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that this would be the first time in my life that organically, truly out of the blue, I dismissed my failures – “failures” – and acknowledged instead my accomplishments, all of which came thanks to an early resilience and the distinct impression that six-year-old me could be Alexis Carrington one day.

joan-collins-alexis-carrington-Cd7cff848ad9f26ccde1cd0e3050f3148 — *Without a doubt.*

All of this, thanks to blogging. It’s a correlation, and maybe a weak one, I don’t know. But I’ve had a lot of therapy and I’ve never had revelations anywhere, but especially not at Sam’s Club before. And if this is happening at Sam’s Club, it’s probably best not to think too hard about correlation vs. causation.

Thank you, all

There’s a hole in the heart that’s truly hard to fill, if it ever does. I think writing is one way to start. Your feedback doesn’t hurt! I’ll take it anytime. And will keep you posted as my health changes with a regular writing practice. It’s an interesting experiment, this, and look forward to sharing it with you.

Working it out when working out

Today I finished creating a new exercise space, one where I can spend hours and hours focusing on a different kind of pain: The physical. The burn. The torture you make for yourself on purpose and put in our planners. Why do we do it? Let’s talk in the comments below.

Well, wait: let’s not talk about that just yet. The psychological, even metaphysical, back-and-forth about why some people go balls out and some people flow and ohhhhmmm is a discussion for another day. And it’s the weekend.

When it comes to fitness, sometimes it’s fun just to talk about what we’re up to. Many of those who’ve stopped by are fitness-focused, so I hope you’ll join in. But I think it’s important to hear about whatever movement moves any of you!

My space, your space

Everyone needs a good exercise space. In the comments below, I want to hear about yours. Do tell!

Me, I’d been exercising in my bedroom. I’m an exercise-at-home type, very private, and I have a couple of cats who might get under foot. But even someone as short as me wants to make a leg extension without hitting a bed corner, chair, wall…

Now my new space runs about 6′ x 10′, and is covered with a dark blue ultra plush rug into which my hands can hook snugly for easier V-position work and handstands. My hands are strong but I’ll take the assist. The rug’s also flush with a solid banister that I can either hook onto lengthwise for decline work or use as a barre.

When I need a higher barre, a white fold-up IKEA barstool tucks neatly behind a maple storage cube that sits on high nickel legs. That sounds quite fancy. It’s not. It’s falling apart and needs to be replaced. Badly. But it too is rather tucked away, so…another payday.

I keep all my mats, weights, loops, bands, this nifty kettlebell converter and gliders – Corelle plates, finally handy! – in a homey, sweater-covered storage tub. So until the area starts to smell, which will be soon, trust, it won’t even be entirely obvious what happens over there. It’s like a grown-up lives here or something.

My movement, your movement

Are you a gym rat? Have a favorite trainer? In the comments below, talk about your favorite workouts!

I’d mentioned in a previous post that I can go on and on. And on. Today:

Tonique Tokyo Onsen Express (35 min)
Tonique Sculpt Dynamics Arms (37 min)
Tracy Anderson post-pregnancy floor core work (~20 min)
Tracy Anderson method mat unweighted and weighted arms (~15 min)
countless jackknifes (~80? depends if the music’s good!)

And this is a light day, meant to help work out some serious DOMS from yesterday’s stupid heavy leg day. Man, I just wasn’t thinking. I mean, I’m an old lady who doesn’t eat carbs and somehow I thought this wouldn’t hurt:

Tonique Born to Move (~58 minutes)
Tonique The Box mat/wall workout (37 min)
Linda Wooldridge standing barre thighs (26 min)
Tracy Anderson post-pregnancy floor core work (~20 min)
Tracy Anderson method mat unweighted and weighted arms (~15 min)

IDIOT.

I think tomorrow will have to include some very light dance aerobics just keep myself from turning to stone, maybe 45-60 minutes. You reap what you sow.

Now, I’m not giving you these itineraries to show off. (Well, maybe a little!) I’m doing so to invite conversation about what you do and exchange ideas. Let’s talk!

Final notes

First, stay tuned for a key follow-up post. I have good news. I think!