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On talking too much, or the NBA Summer League

When I was in graduate school several years ago, the introvert in me – and that would be 100 percent of me – was desperate for some quiet time.

You don’t get much in graduate school. It’s all group projects and collaboration (another overused word! noted for later topic) and covering for That Guy.

I found then that there was one place, one unlikely place, where I could enjoy near-complete silence: my dental hygienist’s chair.

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I’d lay down on the vinyl, in that curiously comfortable decline, and we’d say nothing. I’d close my eyes. I knew when to close my mouth for that tube thing. She might ask if I had summer plans when we were done. Maybe.

I still don’t even know her name. I don’t need to. This is still one of my favorite things to do because there is no talking, and no one feels awkward about it.

I suspect that’s why so many of you cook, or write, or train, or paint: It’s not always a solo pursuit, but it’s quiet.

Desperate for basketball

There’s this Rush song. Maybe you know it. Oh, of course you know it. Everybody knows it – it’s Rush. It’s “Spirit of the Radio.”

And there’s a phrase in it that describes the majority of my basketball viewing, if you can call it that: it’s “a friendly voice, a companion unobtrusive.”

See, there’s quiet, and then there’s isolated. I can do the latter all too quickly.

With basketball, I can turn the volume on low to just barely hear some of the region’s TV announcers, all companions unobtrusive. I can watch it out of the corner of my eye as I exercise for excessive periods of time, something else done perhaps in the pursuit of quiet.

The NBA’s Summer League, while nothing like the NBA or especially college basketball*, would ostensibly fit the bill, yes? Turn the volume down to low. People moving about. No one talking to me, just in my vicinity, the voice just familiar enough.

usatsi_10971194_147386290_lowres — *Champs…of the Euroleague. Sorry, guys, we know you worked hard, but still*

Except.

ESPN, the Satan of sports broadcasting, took over the Summer League two or three years ago. Which means there is constant yapping. I mean, Dan Dakich. Would you shut that whole in the middle of your face? For a second?

I know the answer to this.

NCAA BASKETBALL: JAN 17 Michigan at Wisconsin — *FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT USE THAT MIC, DAN DAKICH*

The NBA does a lot of things right, but man, I’m looking at cricket as an alternative. Cricket! In America! What is this country coming to?

*Wait until November, friends. I will try not to but probably still will bore you to death with Big East basketball. Sorry in advance.

Word nerd alert: Journey is a band, not a quest/mission/odyssey

Today…today was just a bad day at the office. A crappier Monday than usual. So on my calendar this week is one subject that will be the equal of my salty mood.

The overuse of the word “journey.”

I love the English language.

No, I love it. That’s why I seriously don’t love it when a word is appropriated to the point of meaninglessness.

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Though certainly not the only instance, but one of the more recent examples, is use of the word “disrupt” to describe anything that might merely unsettle an industry. In the essential sense of the word, this in and of itself is not necessarily wrong.

But the word to entered into our collective conscious thanks to Harvard business professor Clayton Christensen, who used the word as as a matter of wholesale industry change: what product or service will come along, like cheap steel rebar, to disrupt an industry to the point of changing it completely?

Now Zion Williamson is a disruptive basketball talent. Billie Eillish is a disruptive musical talent. Tesla is a disruptive car. I don’t know, I don’t see Tesla turning the auto industry on its head. It’s merely another category.

We work. We’re not on a quest for fire

Hard work is hard and the change that comes from it is incremental. But it’s not necessarily a journey. Journey implies a terminus. You hit your goal and you’re done.

I don’t think so. Not for any of you.

So cooking journeys and learning journeys and fitness journeys…well, there is no terminus to the fitness “journey” I’m on, I can tell you that.

The great work you do never stops. You cook better, you learn more, you get stronger and healthier – mentally and physically – the harder you try. You just get better and better at what you do and I love you for it.

So my friends, you’re not on a journey. That’s a band. A great band. You just keep being your best you.

You’re welcome.

My foibles as a blogger and human

It’s been a curiously beautiful holiday weekend here in the upper Midwest. The sort of weather, really, that makes you wonder what sort of tragedy is around the corner. It’s sunny today: will there be a tsunami tomorrow? In the upper Midwest? Sure, why not?

But that’s not the only reason I’ve not been as visible as my start. I’ve turned up my anxiety tenfold, all on my own, by announcing to you, my dear readers, that you should be reading all my posts because there will be something interesting in there.

I’m pretty sure there are few things that can stop a writer faster than saying out loud that you’re good. So it’s back to the drawing board for me, talking about nothing, talking about everything.

It’s also a good time to reflect on what’s been great this week, what’s been less than great, and what’s to come this week.

Awesome!

Diet and exercise: I’d posted earlier that based on the intensity of my workouts, I’ve probably been enormous calorie deficit over I don’t even know how many years.

Like so many I’ve body image problems; I didn’t know how to manage the variability with sorting out the right amount to eat. There were tears! So embarrassing.

Because it turns out that eventually, your body will manage this for you. I found myself starving and migrainous toward the end of the week, even with a higher caloric load; I couldn’t help but eat more. With another 600-700 kcals total – that’s a lot! – I found myself dropping weight.

Fitness friends, I’ll keep you posted.

Women’s World Cup: Turns out that the U.S. won. Who would have guessed?

What this brings up is an interesting discussion of how one is paid by an employer: is it based on value to the company as a part of overall revenue, or individual performance?

Outside of sales, the U.S. doesn’t pay people based on individual performance. Or in this case, team performance. The men’s team gets paid more because the men’s world cup generates more revenue. Nevermind that they’ve never made it past, what, the round of 16, if they make it all?

One wonders if after today, a new compensation model for the women’s team won’t become more necessary. I’d like to hear U.S. Soccer tell the world that the crappy men’s team makes more money because the men’s world cup sells more ads.

By the by, I actually have no idea what happens in a soccer game!

Less awesome

Body image: The opposite end of my diet and exercise win. I’ve never felt so much anxiety over what should just be a matter of basic health.

It’s 2019. In era of body positivity my obsession is antiquated, and I hate myself for that, too.

I found myself crying like a baby first with worry, then with self-loathing. I can’t win for losing.

Ruined chicken: Less horrifying than my inexplicable vanity, pride and downfall from it, is my ruined poached chicken, a recipe I can make with my eyes closed.

Actually, the truth is, I feel ashamedly terrible about this, too. the chicken turned out a bit tough and dry, but it’s not inedible; I tend to think of food as fuel, so what do I care? Somehow I do.

Setting myself up to fail: I’m not sure why I felt compelled to let you know that even if I’m talking about boxing, you’ll want to take a look. As though I can come up with some life lesson every time I start typing.

Today is a great example of not even coming close.

Coming up this week

There are a few topics I’d like to discuss. Whether or not there’s a life lesson in any of it, I don’t know.

Overuse of the word “journey”
Women’s sports
How much work at work is too much work
When are you too old to accomplish what you want?
Can I fix my poached chicken?

Until then, I thank you all for reading! Have a great week!

A quick note about my posts

I have a lot of interests that might seem to only interest me. For example, while writing here, I’ve got my right eye on the NBA free agent trade news crawl. I might write something about that, and at first blush, that might not interest any of you.

Though I don’t succeed every day, I do my best to find the story within those stories that would be of greater interest to all of you. There’s always something.

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For example, I did a piece about UConn rejoining the Big East. I titled it poorly; the greater part of that piece were thoughts about the state of women’s sports. I know there’s a lot to talk about there.

So I have two points: a) I’ll do my best to title pieces in a way to illustrate the bigger picture in the piece that might interest you; and b) I hope you’ll give them a skim.

I’m open to suggestions, and am happy to cover a particular topic. I have a perspective on everything! Feel free to let me know in the comments.

Update: posting as pain relief

Until today, it was the most popular post in my (five-day) blogging career. “Posting as pain relief” resonated with a lot of you, and still grows in readership bit by bit. This was unexpected. It was truthful in a way that I can’t say to anyone live.

But I have some good news.

Yesterday afternoon found me on errands, including stops at shops where I could kit out my new workout space. The shop with the plush rug. The used sports equipment shop for 20-lb. dumbbells. The Salvation Army for some kind of slick plates that would make better gliders than the ones I’ve got.

While in the Salvation Army, I passed by the furniture, giving it a dreamy look. It was in good shape, all of it. Mine is…not so great. Cats with claws will do what they do and there’s not much you can do until they’re gone.

My mind went dark. Shouldn’t I, at an age I’m not telling you but which is old enough I should likely be looking elsewhere at furniture, not look longingly at used stuff?

I felt the familiar feelings of failure. Of pointlessness and worthlessness and the real question of whether my future was worth attempting. Instantly, from the brain stem or the amygdala or wherever that starts, my blood was pumped with it.

But a funny thing happened at Sam’s Club. Just down the road a piece from the Salvation Army, I found a fair parking spot on a busy Saturday. It was sunny and hot, at least for the upper Midwest. I didn’t move for a moment. Full of bad feeling, of sighs, a slow heartbeat, I simply told myself to stop.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that this would be the first time in my life that organically, truly out of the blue, I dismissed my failures – “failures” – and acknowledged instead my accomplishments, all of which came thanks to an early resilience and the distinct impression that six-year-old me could be Alexis Carrington one day.

joan-collins-alexis-carrington-Cd7cff848ad9f26ccde1cd0e3050f3148 — *Without a doubt.*

All of this, thanks to blogging. It’s a correlation, and maybe a weak one, I don’t know. But I’ve had a lot of therapy and I’ve never had revelations anywhere, but especially not at Sam’s Club before. And if this is happening at Sam’s Club, it’s probably best not to think too hard about correlation vs. causation.

Thank you, all

There’s a hole in the heart that’s truly hard to fill, if it ever does. I think writing is one way to start. Your feedback doesn’t hurt! I’ll take it anytime. And will keep you posted as my health changes with a regular writing practice. It’s an interesting experiment, this, and look forward to sharing it with you.

“Holy crap, guys. This is gonna be awesome.”

I was in a bit of a different mood when I first opened this blog. I do still find the Rainbow Robot Unicorn to be pretty amazing, and my sense of humor leans this way. But I can’t guarantee that every post is going to be funny.

No, I’ve got a lot more things to talk about now that I’ve brought the blog back up. Amazing how different one can become in two years, even at my age. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I hope you’ll enjoy the posts centered on personal growth, and the nonlinear path it takes to do so. That’s the primary focus.

And I hope you’ll at least peruse the posts that may not at first blush have anything to do with anything you care about. Because I can almost guarantee that there’s something in my newer posts about boxing and college basketball and my old smelly cat and whatever else that will interest you.

Don’t hesitate to contact me if there are subjects you’d like to see covered. I’ve love to hear from you.

Best–

-ed.

TyJGW8 — *Rainbow Robot Unicorn goes hard, not home.*