It’s finally summer in the upper Midwest of the United States. At least it is this week.
It’s been curiously rainy and cool until this week. I couldn’t tell you why; I heard it’s got something to do with the extremely cold winter in the Plains states next door and the jet stream out of Canada. Well, thanks, Canada. For America’s Hat, you’re not doing a very good job keeping us warm.
(Canada, I’m kidding! Except for your interloping NBA team, you are stupendous!)
I wanted to address a few results of the area’s extended chilly rainy spring:
- Foul moods sticking around
- The hilarious belief that now that it’s around 80 degrees, it’s “hot.”
- My suddenly and completely out-of-control yard
Nobody’s close to happy
Everyone suffers from some degree of seasonal affective disorder up here, I think. Or that’s the claim. I had a boyfriend a while back who claimed to suffer from it, but I never noticed a difference between the summer jerk and winter jerk.
This year, no one’s had to make a particular claim. The cheerlessness was palpable in everyone, and is still, even though the weather seems to have turned a corner.
One wonders if the longer one spends in the gray rainy dark, the harder it is to snap out of the cabin fever and into a more human state of mind.
We can get into the metaphysical discussion, our essential being, and does an extended negative circumstance, like crap weather, put us into an existential crisis and all that. Does it change what we are? For how long? Forever? Or can it not change our essence? Are we crab-asses, essentially, or people who are just crabby a lot? Is there a difference? I’m open to ideas.
It’s not hot.
I grew up on the coasts of North and South Carolina here in the states. And I’m here to tell you that 80 degrees is not hot.
It’s also not “muggy.” For the past couple mornings the news has reported an onslaught of muggy weather. Right now that means 58% humidity. That’s adorable! But it’s not muggy. It’s nice.
I’ll take arguments in the comments below, but I’m not wrong. In fact, I’m right! If that doesn’t make you want to comment, I don’t know what will.
My yard is the Genesis Planet.
If you’re Gen X like yours truly, then you probably remember Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, which included the creation of a brand new planet full of giant ferns and hostas and other extra-large, but definitely earth-bound plants. It was called the Genesis Planet.
This is now my yard.
I know some of you really get into this stuff. I don’t. See above, North and South Carolina coasts. As a kid I had to work in the yard around three times a week for most of the year. The smell of cut grass still makes me nauseous but I’ve otherwise repressed those memories. I’m lost out there in the yard, what with trimmers and clippers and mowers.
So save me! I’m taking applications. Let me know in the comments below if you’d like to get my yard under control! I’ve got five bucks with your name on it.
Thanks!
As always, thank you to my readers, current and new. I look forward to talking with you!
thingspeoplelookup.com 